Internal Validation With Maini Homer

Thomas Green here with Ethical Marketing Service. On the podcast today, we have Maini Homer. Maini, welcome.

Thank you for having me Thomas, it’s lovely to be here.

It’s a pleasure to have you. Would you like to take a moment and tell the audience a little bit about yourself and what you do?

Sure. Well, I’ve been in business for myself for over 23 years. I am more of the business creator, it’s my superpower and I’m now on my 13th successful business. I’m also a number one international bestselling author in three countries and three categories. And so what I do now is actually help small businesses with staff under 50, get themselves seen and heard out in the marketplace. So that can be known, liked and trusted through blogs and articles, making them the authority in the industry and through social media posting.

Okay, well, thank you for that. You said you’ve been in three businesses. Are you still juggling those businesses?

Not all together now. I’ve only got the one currently. it’s been over the last 23 years, you know, some of them I’ve had for six months, some of them have had for 14 years. I’ve sold some. Some I’ve self-sabotaged, which I’m not afraid to admit these days. You know, we all make mistakes along the way. That’s how we learn, right? Yeah, definitely. What failure is feedback?  . So you said you wanted to talk about internal validation. So for those that don’t know what would you say is the definition of internal validation. Okay, so internal validation is when you know that you’re good enough, you know that you’re worthy. You know that the work you produce is of the standard that people will love. That you have no self-doubt that you know that you know everything that you do is for your higher purpose and that you’re serving others and people are going to be happy with what you do. There’s so many examples these days of people requiring the external validation such as the likes and comments on social media posts and oh you know that one only got 15 likes and nobody like that one.

Or you know maybe I need to put a picture of my dog up and then they’ll like that. And that’s the external validation that you get from social media but it’s also those that require awards or recognition from industries and all kinds of things like that. Whilst that’s all nice to get, it shouldn’t be needed. You should know in yourself that you’ve got what it takes. I think in terms of what you said about balance, like if far external validation seems to be far more needed. It seems by people at the moment in terms of a scale than internal validation. Do you think there’s any consequential, should we say benefit to having some element of external validation. Look I still think it’s nice – obviously everybody likes to get a pat on the back from others. Everyone likes to be recognised for the work they’ve done. However, it’s, it shouldn’t be needed.

If that’s what it makes, it shouldn’t be that you need to get that validation take, for example, somebody who is working in a job, for example, someone that hasn’t taken the lead, get into entrepreneurialism and they’re just doing stuff to please their boss to make the boss happy to get that pat on the head from their boss. And when they don’t get that, that’s when the need for external validation goes too far because they might quit their job or they might do, you know, walk away from something because they didn’t get that validation that they needed. Does that make sense? Yeah, perfect sense. I’ve heard it described as in terms of conditioning when Children go up to their parents with their colour again and they ask for that kind of feedback and we don’t grow out of that. We take it with us until you recognise that and sort of self-knowledge and you grow beyond it, if you see what I mean. Absolutely. And we’ve got a real problem like in June in the generation now Gen Z we’ve got a massive problem with the need for external validation, not only through social media, but with this whole generation of being taught that they’re special that they basically they’re expecting to be able to start in a company and go to the 200 level straight away without having to do the hard work, they’re all expecting just to reach the top of the company because they’ve all been told how special they are and that everybody gets surprised and everybody wins, you know?

So they have no filters on the whole knowing that they’re good enough, knowing that they’re worthy inside themselves, they just crave from the outside so I can actually see a real problem for me here. Mm I feel like um, a little bit like the message or at least the intent behind my perception of the intent behind that messages, like anything’s you’re capable of anything, but what’s missing from that message is providing you put the work in. You say that’s fair. Yeah, absolutely, that’s absolutely there. Whereas in my generation and you’re definitely younger than me, but I’m one down from the boomers, I’m like, you know, I’m not a millennial, I’m in between the two of those, you know? So, so we were taught when we were kids that there was nothing special about us and that if we didn’t go out there and work our butts off, then we weren’t going to get anything alive. So it’s gone completely polar opposite now to where they all told how special they are and that, you know, there’s always everybody gets surprised regardless.

So it’s really done a whole about face. So in terms of benefits of internal validation let’s say someone takes on that particular philosophy and they apply it, what would they be expected to gain? Okay, so if you build up your internal validation and I mean it took me years to get it as well because it’s something that you work on in your mind set. But if you if you’ve got that internal validation then you’re not afraid to put yourself out there, you’re not afraid to complete work. Like if you wrote a book or something and you’ve got three quarters the way through and went oh no one’s going to like that and I’m not going to put it out there. What would people think? You’re not afraid to just give it a go? You’re not worried about what other people think or what they’re going to say if you do step out of your comfort zone. Oh it doesn’t actually matter. I mean there’s people out there that will drag you down and pull you down at any moment but their opinions don’t matter to you when you got that internal validation which means you really can just keep pushing forward to reach whatever goal you want to.

You’re like the sky’s the limit when you’ve got enough validation in yourself. I do feel that it can be hugely beneficial made sort of touches on what I asked before which is providing you’ve got that standard. So I kind of feel like providing you’ve got that excellence or your work is of a very high standard then internal validation is extremely important because no matter what someone says to you, you know, you’ve done a great job and the work is of high quality. Whereas if you have internal validation and the work is not of high standard, it’s almost like it’s almost not a beneficial thing at that point. Have you got any thoughts there? Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you know obviously we’re all going to strive for our best and as you said earlier, you know, you’ve got to be able to put that work in and be able to produce what is classed as good enough. I mean like I have high internal validation and I know that the work that I produce is good.

However, you know, I mean I still get knocked each and every day, I think it’s part of society. It’s like I was talking to a girlfriend this afternoon who is actually an NLP trainer and she was saying that probably 80% of people are still trying to tear other people down still in that mindset where they’ve got to try and you know, do what they can. I I got torn down twice today by people online. One lady told me I was posting too much on linked in And you know that if I didn’t respond to her within 48 hours should consider was about and she’d report me and like it’s all just you know, wanting to knock people down, wanting to pull them down so they’re not out there shining as much. Do you know what I mean? So to be able to get to the point with that internal validation where I am is I mean like, you know, I know my work is good, if my work is not good and somebody says, I can say, okay fine, I can accept that and here’s a better version, always striving for the best. But also those people where I know there simply just wanting to tear me down, like today is it doesn’t affect me, you know, I just think I actually I actually am able to reframe it now.

I can say, okay, well that’s just another person that’s helping me be more resilient and stronger. Yeah, it sounds like very much in evidence based approach. So if the evidence is there, that your work is great, then you don’t really need to worry about it. Whereas if there if there is criticism which is justified, you are able to see that and that’s again more of a balanced approach. Absolutely, definitely. I mean, like I said, I was pulled down twice today, I had had another guy who was checking out all of my posts on Facebook and on LinkedIn and his comments back to me was like, well, if you claim that you’re the queen of content and how come you’re not getting so much, you know, interaction on your posts, and it’s like, it’s like, really, like, if you got nothing better to do with your day, then, you know, look at my post and try to pick fault with what I’m doing. Like, so I’m at the point where that kind of stuff doesn’t worry me. Do you know what I mean? Because it’s not always about how many likes and comments you get on the post, it’s what’s happening in the inbox that he doesn’t select.

Well, it comes back again to even if it were the case that you won’t get an engagement and you know that your posts are of high standard, then the actual engagement is irrelevant at that point, because either it’s the case that you will get that engagement, providing your quality is great, or it’s irrelevant because you’re proud of what you’ve done is of a high standard and you’re not looking for external validation, as you say, that’s exactly it. But the thing is with these days, so many people are looking for it. It’s the person that spouts, it’s the influence that spouts, I’ve got 100,000 followers on Instagram, look at me, I’m amazing yet they get no interaction because, you know, they’ve just gone and found themselves 100,000 random people. Do you know what I mean? But they’re still craving that validation from other people look at me look at me, you know, it’s that whole scenario where that’s just doesn’t save them doesn’t serve them. We touched on social media a little bit and you do a lot of work on it as you said Do you think I’ve heard some different opinions on this in terms of whether or not it’s worsened as a result?

And I’m referring to internal validation versus external validation. What are your thoughts on how social media has amplified reveals or how does it influence that? I think it’s had a major impact on people’s need for external validation. I mean if you go back 20 years ago Would go out for dinner with our friends for example, but we didn’t need to take 400 photos of us. Look, I’m out with such and such and like look at me, I’m a social butterfly and look at the food we’re eating. There was no need to do that. People didn’t crave. You know. Oh you know we’ve got to get a selfie because I’ve got to have my 300 Facebook friends see that I have friends and I was out, you know or there was no need to like take a photo of the flash cars, look what I’ve got because I’m successful. You know, there was no need for that. So I think social media has a part to play. However the need for external validation has always been, there has always been in the people that weren’t confident who didn’t believe in themselves.

And even to a point, those people that didn’t believe in themselves. If somebody said to them, oh my God, what you’ve done is amazing. They support and say it’s not what you’re talking about. You know? So it’s always been a problem. But I just think social media has amplified that. Mm And so I’ve heard the position that it’s just revealed more of us of what we are versus kind of worsened it. What does it mean going forward do you think? Well, less people are aware of the behaviours that they are displaying then there’s not much it’s going to change. I mean the very first step to fixing anything in your life is being aware that there’s actually a problem. I mean, that goes for anything, right? So unless people are fully aware and willing to accept the fact that perhaps they don’t have the confidence. They don’t have the certainty and they don’t have the self believe that they need and actually take the steps and do the work the internal work to fix those things.

Then they’re going to continue getting the same results that they’re getting now. Which may not be the successes that they want in life. So really it comes down to education and sort of like letting people making sure people understand that, you know, whilst they’re still out there looking for the pat on the head from Thomas Green or anybody else, then they’re never going to have that fulfilled life. Well, I hope they’re not waiting for that because I don’t give many of those. Okay. Yeah, I mean anybody, you know what I mean? So in terms of your social activity, like your strategy, I would think because you have this philosophy, I’d like to know what, how you use it and what your approaches to responding to those types of things. And also, I don’t know just what your activity is around social media from a, from a use perspective. Okay. So, I mean, I am everywhere on social media. I really, really put myself out there and the reason why I do that is because I’ve got some big kick butt goals this year to achieve.

And so I know that the only way to achieve those goals just to be seen and heard. So I’ve got people saying all the time that every time they happened to link and there’s no money, there’s money. I had done one of my contacts today saying, he expected to see me in his local coffee shop that morning when he went for his coffee and I said, didn’t you see the billboard outside, you know, thanks. So my activity’s on social media, I am very huge. I am everywhere. I post 67 times a day for that purpose. So that I can be seen and heard. So that the no, like trust happens faster for my company. Okay. In terms of because I do, I don’t post that much, but I do post regularly, but in terms of my actual, the time spent on social media, I don’t spend any time on it really. So are you, do you enjoy it being on social and do you spend a lot of time again? I actually have staff that take care of a lot of it for me. I outsource my work, I’ve got like 16, 16 staff currently.

So I actually have a girl that works my linked in full time every day because like I’m getting, I’m getting two or three hot leads from her doing that today. So these are two or three people that jumping into my inbox basically the fishes jumping into the boat, if you know what I mean? And they’re ready to buy because they’ve seen and heard me enough. So I don’t, I still spend some time on there because he was kind of fun but I don’t do the majority of the work. Mm So there is a strategic approach to it, you would say? Absolutely, absolutely. I mean at the end of the day, especially linked in Lincoln as a business network, everybody is on their to network and grow their business. So why not utilise that? You are doing well from it if you’re getting inquiries. I think probably the one question that I always, I think people are always interested in is how you turn um, hosts or engagements into inquiries and perhaps sales.

Have you got any thoughts there? Okay, so all of my posts on LinkedIn, which I focused my still Lincoln, I still have a presence on Facebook and on Instagram, but I don’t love them if I’m honest. Okay, LinkedIn is where, you know, I’m the queen of content. So all of my posts are usually educational or they are showcased. So in other words, you know, it’s like a review or a screenshot of a podcast that I’ve just been on or episode of the podcast or a video I’ve done or something like that, some of this video. So there’s a variety of posts and what I use those forests to show potential clients who I am, what I can do, how I can do it and how I can help their business. So I base it on the problems my ideal market is suffering from and I show them how I can for you solve that problem. And it’s all about relationship building. So if somebody jumps in my inbox, for example, it depends on, you know, what is they’re looking for.

I build a relationship with them. It’s not like you know, hey Thomas by myself, it’s like, it takes time. It’s not something that happens overnight. So we will have a conversation via message and then we will jump onto a zoom call where, you know, we’ll have a conversation about what they do, You know what they need And I will fill in the gaps for them and then if I’ve earned enough trust with them, which usually I have because they’ve jumped into my inbox, if you know what I mean, That’s when the sale happens and I find that it’s quite an easy sale because people don’t jump into your inbox until they’re ready. Mm. So the value add and perhaps I’ve heard it referred to as taking someone from if their goal is, let me say zero and there are a few help them get from A to B. Then you build the trust and you’ve shown you can help them and that’s when they get in touch. Pretty much. Yeah, pretty much, pretty much. I also make sure that every social media posts I put out has got some kind of quarterback call to action.

Whether it’s, you know, read my blog, check out my article that I got published, Check out this interview that I did. You know, if you’re interested in my services then messaged me everything has a call to action every single post. because people need to be told they need to be honest. If you don’t say the people, hey reach out to me or hey with my blog, they won’t do it. They need that direction.   Well you’re, if you’re posting like six or 7 times a day, my guess is that frequency? that’s again, strategic for you. So do you see that number of posts correlate to number of inquiries? Absolutely. Is definitely increasing why the reason why I also do that many posts as well and I do it consistently and that’s the word consistently every day, is because that’s how you get seen, That is how you get above the noise, especially on social media these days and online businesses, because there’s not, there’s no longer 10 of us, there’s now 150 of us all doing the same thing.

So you’ve got to make sure that you’re seen and heard and you get above that noise and that’s how I’m doing it by being consistent every day and going on podcasts. Right? Absolutely. This is my third today. So, wow for today, how has podcasting become a part of your content? Okay, so obviously you have an audience that I haven’t reached yet. So by coming onto the podcast and sharing my knowledge and my experience, people instantly get to know like and trust me because they’ve lived listen to me for half an hour and they’re pretty much decided by then that I either know what I’m talking about or I’m full of it and if they happen to decide that I know what I’m talking about, then they may connect with me on social, which is when they’ll see more of my information. So it’s all about just you know, reaching out to audiences that I may not have reached if I hadn’t jumped on your podcast. So, generally speaking, do you have a number that you try and here each week, or I have a monthly target every month and it gets raised every month as well.

So I make sure that when I make my target, I celebrate every time I make sure I celebrate every time, it might not be a who I’ve done it. You know, it doesn’t have to be like, you know, a big all night party or anything like that. It’s just you acknowledge it and then you extend it and that’s how I work every time, because that’s how you continue to grow, that’s how you continue to get better and better and content creation in general. I mean, presumably you’re, you’re doing that for businesses. And does it look pretty much like what you’re doing for yourself? Very much like what I’m doing for myself, because I need to showcase exactly what I can do. So people can go and have a look at what I’m posting on, linked in. Obviously, you know, I post what my clients want me to post, but they can go and have a look at me on linked in, they can see the kind of things I’m posting, they can see the variety that I’m doing and it shows my quality right there because naturally I’m going to put my best foot forward and I, and do you ever post about what you’re eating for dinner?

No, I actually don’t, I don’t think my target market would actually care. Yes, a very good point. Does that does that actually add any value to the person looking at it? No, not really. I mean, I do put some personal things on there every now and then I’ll snap a photo with me and my kids or you know, I’m out socialising and doing the whole networking thing. But yeah, no, I I do keep a lot of my private life private. So you’ve got a team of 16, which I think generally speaking, I think most people would aspire to that. So congratulations on having a successful company. What your goals for your company. So, my goals is to head towards the first million. Okay. We’re cornering that soon. from there, it’s just over guests turnover. Yes, yes. Got to get the turnover. Probably get the profit we’re getting there. but you know, that’s the first goal and then probably from there over the next 12 months, we’ll look at doubling that.

And then my goal is to sit on the beach and while it runs itself, that’s the goal. But what will you do on the beach? That’s the problem? Well, you know, it’s funny, I was actually asked that question by someone I was working with a couple of weeks ago, he did the whole and then, you know, and so I had to really, really think about it. And to be honest, once I reached that point again and I’ve been here before, but I got bored. So it’s a big lesson there. Once they get to the point where I am financially free and I am time free, I’m actually going to look at working with young teen girls who are getting themselves into difficulties and see what I can do to make a difference in their lives. I mean, I’ve got the mindset, I’ve got everything, all the skills I need to be able to potentially start my own charity to help young girls that are, you know, struggling with life. I would love to do something like that. I’ve heard it described as, um, and what will that do for you, what will that allow you to do? And then I did, I spoke to someone who maybe I might be able to introduce you if you’re interested, but his whole, he’s approaches that you combine your business with your, that’s a meaningful goal like you have because we are we spend at least a large percentage of our time working and a lot of our time sleeping.

And so if you wait until you hit your goal before you actually do something meaningful, then you’re gonna be right missing out on a lot of it, essentially. That sounds like a very worthy goal is all I’d say, yeah, absolutely, it’s what I didn’t get when I was younger. And so if I can make a difference in one girl’s life, then I’ve won and I’ve broken the mould. Is there anything that you think would be of value to the audience that haven’t asked you about today? Just for them to and it’s easy, easier to have been done until you do the inner work. But to believe in themselves and to know that they really can do anything they want to do. If they get the right mindset to go and build it. There’s nothing you can’t do providing you put the work in, right? Yes. You’ve got to do the do you’ve got to take the action. Absolutely. But there isn’t anything you can’t do. So is there any other aspects to your business or are you strictly content creation? Strictly content creation. We are being stretched in other in other directions where, I mean, I’m a big believer and sometimes you say, yes, you’ll do something in the now, work out how to do it later.

So we are starting into Facebook advertising this week. It’s been a real collaboration. I’ve had someone come on to do videography, somebody who’s going to be doing in our marketing with my company. So we are expanding very fast into other areas. Interesting.

Where is the best place for people to find you.

The best place to find me is on LinkedIn. I am the queen of content creation and it’s like my second home. Other than LinkedIn, you can check my website at Well, you can find me on Facebook, but LinkedIn is definitely my favourite hangout.

I should have guessed, really, shouldn’t I?


All right, well, thank you very much for your time today.

All right. Thanks for having me. Much appreciated.