Tough Questions With Kevin Palmieri

Ladies and gentlemen, brothers and sisters, colleagues and friends. Welcome to the Thomas Green podcast. Today’s guest has a global top 100 podcast with more than 900 episodes being played in more than 120 countries. He is an entrepreneur, consultant and podcast coach, specialising in helping CEOs and entrepreneurs grow scale and monetise their podcast. He has also the chief financial officer of Next Level University, which helps people reach the next level in their life, love health and wealth. Along with his business partner Alan, Next Level University offers world class guest interviews, group coaching, launching or improving podcasts, business solutions such as leadership culture and systems coaching, developing websites, newsletters and online courses. He also has an event on March 26 at the hotel Marriott, where he and other speakers will be teaching how to design and achieve the most aligned, fulfilling and successful life possible because he isn’t busy enough.

He also has a book club which is free to join with the aim being good books with great people to change lives. A big welcome back to the ever improving ever quick kid, Kevin Palmieri. Thomas, best intro I’ve ever heard. I just hope I can live up to the introduction because it was so wonderful. Thank you for having me back. I very much enjoyed our first round and I’m excited to see where we go today, my friend well as discussed, I’ve got a list of questions for you, perceived as the most difficult questions that I could possibly find. I might have ruined the first one because I got the questions before I wrote the introduction. The first question is who are you? you know what at the, at the core of it all? I am a human being who for most of his life did not feel good enough and instead for most of my life, I did allow that to stop me from trying things. But now I use that as the chip on my shoulder that puts me in front of you, that puts me in situations that scare me.

I’m somebody who uses their adversity as their advantage. I’m somebody who is purpose driven and that is that has created so many opportunities for me in my life and I’m somebody who believes that with the right support, you can really, really change the trajectory of your life and you can impact people that you would never have the opportunity to impact. I’m a I’m a regular guy who just wants to change the world and I think it’s a, it’s a balance. I always want to be relatable. I always want people to be able to connect with me that’s so important to me. But as you know, as you get more quote unquote successful and more sought after your time does go in different ways. But yeah, that’s me in a nutshell, everything else is what I do. It’s not necessarily who I am as a human, there’s a great answer. I’m tempted to follow up with, like as a, as a tease. I’m tempted to say, yeah, but who are you? Because there’s this thing that people do, whether, like, you know, I’m a dad or I’m a mom or you know, I work at this place and yeah, but who are you?

So I was going to say, yeah, but Kevin, who are you? Regardless of what your answer was, the next one is eo you like yourself? I love myself more than I ever have. And I don’t know if we talked about this last time, but during this journey, I remember one day I was walking around my kitchen and I lived with my best friend at the time. I was paying $500 a month rent. I had no clients, I was single. I was pretty unhappy. All things considered in terms of the results I had in my life. But I remember for the first time I was fulfilled and I was proud of who I was as a man and that was three years ago before any of these things. So yes, I I really like myself, I love myself, I’m proud of myself and I think that’s directly correlated to the amount of inner work I’ve done. And I think it’s probably similar for, for everybody out there. I don’t I don’t buy into the it’s bad to talk about yourself in a positive manner.

I think it’s very important to talk about yourself in a positive manner, particularly because not many other people are going to do it for you and it has to start with you. So yes, I like myself. I love myself, I’m proud of myself. all those things. Yeah, it’s interesting to get the response because in some way, depending on who you talk to of course, it potentially can be a lose because if you don’t say that you like or you love yourself, then there’s maybe some inner critic or some self-image stuff going on. If you do, then maybe societally people might say, you know, that person likes himself a bit too much. Yeah, I’ve been on the other end for most of my life, the not liking myself. So I’d rather be on this. I would rather deal with external critics then continue to deal with the internal critics of myself because I am harder on me than any other human can be really. And I think that’s the important part. And the other thing too is I think you have to look at the track record of work that you’ve done again internal and external.

If anybody ever said, well that’s kind of an egotistical thing to say, I would say, well number one, I understand that because I would have said that too. But if you knew what I’ve gone through to get here and the things the mirrors I’ve had to face and the difficult conversations, you’d have to love yourself too and you also like I’m on camera all day every day. Like there’s a level of you can’t really fake it, You can’t fake it for 900 episodes. Like you have to get right with yourself eventually. Then it may have taken a couple 100 for sure. And I’m trying to improve it that every day. But I think it’s a process and if you’re early in the process and you don’t feel like you have that locked in yet, it’s going to seem may be off putting. I I think of it as very similar to the vilification of wealth. If you see somebody who is very wealthy and you don’t believe you can be one of two things you say, Oh man, what do I have to learn to get there? Or you try to tear that person down and say money is terrible. And here’s a list of reasons why I’ve been on, I’ve been on both ends.

So I understand very much and I empathise with that. But I do understand, I understand if you if you heard me say I love myself and you felt either way, I completely understand I’ve been on both ends for sure. Where you brought up wealth. and it leads me to my next question, which is what’s the meaning of life? My goodness. I believe now more than ever that the meaning of life is to it’s to grow and it’s to contribute, I really feel that I’ve worked with a lot of millionaires, which is weird for me to say, because I never expected to say that ever in my life and this is what typically happens, they get a certain level of success, they cross the threshold and then they decided to give back. And I’ve seen that with many people, not just people in the public eye or whatever it may be. So I think it’s growth, I think it’s contribution and I think it’s love, I think the purpose in life is to grow as much as humanly possible with that growth to contribute back to whether it’s society or the community or whatever it may be, whether its breadth or depth breadth, the amount of people depth, the depth that you helped and then Love to love is deeply as you can because I think those things together make a wonderful, wonderful life.

I don’t necessarily think life is about being quote unquote successful, I don’t think life is about having fun necessarily. I think it’s about finding fulfilment and I think that’s the reason that a lot of people aren’t happy because they assume they should be and if you’re searching for happiness, you’re always searching for the next shiny object, the next ding on your phone when fulfilment is you being on purpose, you being aligned. I think that’s the purpose of life is to find fulfilment and then and then live there because that’s where everything amazing comes from, You’re helping me with my next questions because you did bring up successful? Are you successful? I am the most successful I have ever been. That’s a hard one. It’s a hard one by outside standards. I am successful By my own standards. I am the most successful I have ever been because on episode seven of our podcast, I said I wanted to live the life I’m living today, but I think the wonderful thing going back to growth is as you grow, you get to reset your goals and success to me is continuing to be more fulfilled, continuing to have a greater impact, continuing to master my craft more and continuing to make money and then impacting with that money.

So yes, I am the most successful I’ve ever been. I don’t know that I’ll ever cross a line where I say I am successful because I think that almost for me in the past, that would have denoted that it was time to stop. I’m successful now I can stop. So now it’s just, I am successful. What’s the new goal? I think that’s probably the best frame and in a weird way Thomas, Allen and his goal is to be in the pocket of every human being on the face of the planet seven days a week for free. That goal, statistically speaking is pretty close to impossible. So many things would have to happen. I don’t think will necessarily ever get to that goal but will never stop trying. So will I ever have that version of success? I don’t know. I don’t know, But will I continue trying every day for the rest of my life? Absolutely. And I think that part of it is success and I have a wonderful relationship. I’m proud of the physique I’ve created, I’m proud of the way I show up.

We have an awesome team. I’m proud of the bank account, I’m proud of the impact the podcast. So yeah, all things considered the most successful, the most fulfilled, the most aligned I’ve ever been. For sure. I think based on your answer, I’m going to slightly rephrase this next one. Can you be successful without working hard? Oh man, Thomas. No, I don’t, I don’t think you can because it’s not about the result, it’s about the journey and the process. There’s, there’s so many people out there that on social media, they show this, they show the shiny stuff and for most of life, the shiny stuff equates to success, but you don’t know what they’re going on or you don’t know what they’re going through or what’s going on behind the scenes, they might not feel quote unquote successful and they’re trying to convince people that you don’t have to do the hard work. I don’t, I don’t know that you can find true success without hard work because true success requires growth and growth requires conflict.

Conflict is resistance. It’s work. It is hard, it is hard work. There’s this, there’s this thing I’ve seen online and maybe you’ve seen it. I don’t know, you’re a podcaster. So you probably get certain ads that I do too. But it’s this this podcast thing that says, we will launch A Top 100 Show Guaranteed with none of your work or your money back. No, it doesn’t. It doesn’t equate, it’s like saying, I can get you the body of your dreams in 30 days with none of your work. It’s not humanly possible. It just isn’t physically from a physics standpoint. From a biological standpoint. It’s just not possible. So I, what I do think Thomas is, I think for a while we had a toxic hustle culture, grind your face off and don’t sleep, sleep is for the weak, keep working. That’s one end. And that’s wrong. I think we’ve transitioned closer to only do what you feel do what’s aligned.

Um, things will be attracted to you and if it’s supposed to be, it’ll be, I think that’s too far on the spiritual, let it happen side. I think the middle is trust your intuition but work very hard. Make sure your cup is filled. Absolutely. But do what’s hard and necessary, create a sustainable life sustainable. I told you before this that this is my 5th 14 hour day now. Tomorrow is Saturday. We’re recording this on Friday, tomorrow is Saturday, I’ll work six hours tomorrow and then I’m gonna watch Ultimate Fighting Championship for seven hours. I’m filling my cup tomorrow. That’s sustainable for me and sustainable for everybody is a little bit different. So I think that’s, that’s an important thing. But yeah, back to the original point. No, I don’t, I don’t think you can truly be successful without hard work because success is not a result. Success is a mindset. Success is a feeling. Success is an identity and I don’t think you get that identity without hard work.

I don’t think you can interesting what is your greatest fear? Not fitting in and being left behind. My biggest fear is not being good enough hands down. I’m afraid of planes deeply. I’m terrified of sharks at a deep level. But in a weird way my number one fear has also really helped me and maybe become my number one strength is I’ve talked in depth about Alan and how amazing he is as a human being. I would have gotten left behind if I didn’t have a little bit of scarcity. If there was a part of me who said I belong here, no matter what I started this company, I can just show up, I wouldn’t even be here with you today because none of this would exist. So my biggest fear is not being good enough and being left behind. And that big fear has also turned into a, a giant strength where I’ll just try to prep as hard as possible and I’ll just fit whatever I need to do.

I’m very consistent because of that. And I think that if you can get to the point where you take the chip off your shoulder and replace it with ambition. That’s a different life. I still I will always have somewhat of a chip on my shoulder. But I want to run the chip. I don’t want the chip to run me. And now I am running the chip more than I ever have again years and years to get there. But I think a lot of people run from that weakness. They run from that fear. But if you can transition your fear or that weakness into a strength that I mean you can really get someplace with that because it helps it helps. It’s one of those things of okay on our team we have 14 members on the NLU team. And many of the members of the NLU team are emotionally driven humans And we all track our habits. Everybody on the team tracks at least 12 habits a day. I think last week our average was maybe 78 And 15 people?

12 habits a day. I do 24. But everybody else does a minimum of 12. No not many people are doing that. Why are we doing it? Why do people track because they don’t want to look bad. I don’t get 100% because I’m the most motivated human? No, no, no, I got 100% for one week. And I said, mm, mm I like that. That feels nice. And I never stopped getting 100% so much, in fact where my diet was slipping. And I told Alan, I said, I know if I put it on my system, we call it peak performance tracking. If I put it on my system, It’ll get done. And he’s like, do you want to put it on there? I said, I don’t know if I’m ready yet, because I know I’ll have to do it and I did and I’m down £5. Why? So my point with that is we have found a weakness in many of our team members, which is fear of judgment or fear of not fitting in. And we have been able to leverage that into a positive thing by saying, look, all of our stats are public. Everybody on the team can see if I’m messing up or you’re messing up, use that as a little bit of extra motivation.

And honestly, it’s been it’s been wonderful. And I’m curious to see where that’ll be going over the next few years, the next couple of decades. We’re building an app out right now based on that. But if you can understand the human behaviour, you can use it as motivation. And I think everybody has that fear of not fitting in in some way, shape or form. And do you run from it or do you leverage it is the question interesting. Well congrats on the adding the thing that you didn’t want in there because I know that can be, yeah, it was, it’s difficult for sure. I’m very hungry, but it is what it is. You’re on your way home from a 14 hour day and you see a shiny object. What is that? Go and pick it up, dust it off a little bit and a blue genie comes out of this lamp and says, Kevin, thank you so much. I’ve been in there for ages. I’m willing to offer you three wishes. Can’t wish for more wishes and you can’t raise people from the dead or get people to fall in love with you. What are your three wishes?

My three wishes man, I would say my number one wish would be for us to get overnight or in that moment to a million downloads because something happens in terms of perception when you get to a million downloads Will I know more when we get there? Probably not. I’m a little bit right, I’ll know a little bit more. We just crossed 500,000. I’ll know a little bit more. Yes, but There’s something about the number that does $1 million my second wish. My second wish. My second wish and it might sound cliche. It would be my second wish would be to raise the vibration and the frequency of the world. Because if we raise the vibration, the vibration and the frequency of the world, many of the issues that we have would not be issues any longer because the human race would be vibrating at a higher level and petty things would not be worth chasing after.

I don’t know what else would change. I don’t know if wars would stop or any of that. But I think that would help the consciousness of the planet. Which would help everything. That would be my number. My number to my third wish. It’s a good question. I think I would wish that personal development and self-improvement was more common and not only not only accessible but accepted. There’s still people who think our team is a cult like that’s not, I don’t, I don’t know where that comes from. We’re not a cult where if we are, we’re a cult of positivity and trying to help people get better, but it’s not accessible and acceptable in some people’s circles. Like what are you? Why are you trying to get better. Why are you tracking your habits? Why are you meditating? There’s so much resistance to improvement. And if that resistance to improvement went away again, it would better the planet, it would better society would better humanity and everything would get better because of it.

I would say those would be my three great question. Well, well done to you for actually using all three in such a short amount of time. Because I must admit, I mean thinking about that myself, I’m not sure I even have an answer at all, but in reference to making the world a better place, if everyone spoke their mind, would the world be a better place? I think there would be, there would be a lot of pain originally. because what would happen if everybody spoke their mind is everybody’s relationships would get reshuffled and I don’t know if I said this on the last one, but it’s just such a valuable, a valuable lesson and a valuable point for me. One of my friends reached out probably a year and a half ago and this friend of mine was suicidal at one point and when he was suicidal he called me and I went to the hospital with him. I sat in the waiting room, I went to the, the office with him and talked with him and the counsellors about the plan and I sat there with him the whole time and him and I were really good friends.

We used to go to a lot of hockey games together and we hung out a lot. And as this journey continued for me, I spent less and less time with certain people, not because I didn’t love them, but because I was more aligned doing this, I would rather be here with you Thomas, doing my mission, my purpose, the thing that I’m so passionate about then hanging out, talking about something that I just am not super aligned with. That’s just that’s part of being on, on your mission on purpose. And one day he reached out and said, Kev, I feel like you and I aren’t great friends anymore. Can you be the friend that you once were for me? And I sent him an audio and I said, I mean this with all the love in the world, this is going to sound egotistical, but I have to tell, you know, I cannot because I have so many things going on that you don’t know Seven episodes a week. I think at the time it was 6, 6 episodes a week, six gym sessions. I’m getting engaged. We have a 14 person team, right? I have 20 clients. I’m not sleeping. I’m $30,000 in debt. I’m grinding my face off.

I’m burning to the ground. No, I can barely take care of myself right now. I can never be that friend for you. Like I used to be, We went through a phase where we didn’t talk now, every time there’s fights on, he’s a big fan of mixed martial arts. We text during the fights. What happened? My truth shuffled the deck and reset the friendship at where it has to be now that that was me saying, look, I want to be friends with you, but it has to be at this capacity. So if the world maybe a pill dropped from the sky and we all took that pill and we all told the truth, it would be a lot of pain for a decent amount of time. But that pain would subside and I think everybody would move into alignment because when you know the truth, there isn’t anything to hide behind. When you know the truth, you will have an ego with it for a while. But eventually, if you take ownership, you can make changes. I do believe that if everybody spoke their truth, the world would be a much, much, much better place. Eventually not right off the bat, I think right off the bat it would probably be mayhem and there’d be a lot of fights and a lot of divorces, but they’re also eventually a lot of marriages and there would be a lot of hugs on the other end.

So yes, yes, for sure. So do you tend to, this is not on my list. Do you tend to apply that principle as much as you can in your own life? Um, I’m working on it. I would say that is one of my biggest weakness is for sure. I don’t like making people feel uncomfortable. It’s hard. I avoid confrontation. If you and I went out to a restaurant and they gave me the complete wrong dish, I would just eat it and I wouldn’t say anything. I might not even say anything to you. I might just say, oh boy, all right, I’m gonna eat it. So, I think that candour, having a courageous, truthful conversation is a big weakness for me and it’s something I’m definitely working on. I’ve done it with my partner, Taren and it’s been wonderful and we’re very truthful with one another and every time we are, everything gets better. Same with my business partner Alan, same with the team, I’ve leaned into it, I’ve leaned into it. But it is very, very, very difficult. Especially when in your past, the truth really hurt people and you were afraid to hurt people because you didn’t know where you fit in in the grand scheme of things.

So I’m definitely practicing it. But full disclosure, it is a bit of a weakness of mine at the time. Yeah. Is living life to the fullest possible. Is living life to the fullest possible? Yes, Yes, because it is contextual. So I have a coffee cup here. Can I fill it to the top? Yes. But if you give me a new coffee cup, then I have to refill it and I have to refill it. So I think that living life to the fullest is trying to become the best version of yourself? I really do and I did a live podcast last night and we talked about five different points and I think it was growth, it was fulfilment, it was monetisation, it was love and it was impact growth. If you want to be a millionaire, you have to grow to the level that you can impact enough people To make $1 million dollars’ worth of change to become a millionaire. If you want to fall in love, you have to grow to the point where you attract and then continue growing to the point where you can sustain the relationship growth and we talked about that earlier growth is the key to everything.

So in order to live life to the fullest, I think you have to consistently chase your potential. Whatever your unique potential is. I’m five ft four, I’m not playing professional basketball most likely and I’m not going to be a professional swimmer because I sink like a rock. Those probably aren’t in the cards for me that maybe that’s not my, my potential. But what if being the best speaker in the world is my potential? What if it is then right now in this moment if I’m doing my best, which I am then I’m living my life to the fullest in this moment during this conversation, I am, I am doing my thing and after this interview, when I go back to real life and behind the scenes and the cameras off then what do I do? I scroll through my phone for three hours. I’m probably not living life to the fullest if I’m doing that. So I think that yes, yes, it is possible and it is possible every day and eventually the fullest becomes more and more and more and more.

Allen said this to me one time and I, I gotta give him credit. It’s something that really, really helped me expand a lot of my thinking, everybody does their best right. Everybody does their best or has the opportunity to do their best. Not everybody better is their best and that is living life to the fullest. There’s a difference between saying yeah, I did my best and then there’s a difference between saying I did that and afterwards I said, how do I do better than my last best? And I think that is that is it? I really do. I think that’s probably a healthy way of looking at it as well. And my interpretation of the question is like, what’s your absolute maximum potential that you could ever do as a human being? And I think, and whether or not that’s realistic, but I think correct me if I’m wrong, my interpretation from your answer is that it’s about the aspiration more than it is the outcome? Yeah, absolutely. I’m never gonna be, I mean again, I don’t want to say that, but am I going to get an award that says you’re the best podcaster ever?

Probably not unless somebody sends one and I appreciate it. But it really is the aspiration that creates the systems that creates the habits. It’s not about what you want to accomplish, it’s about who you must become to accomplish it. And that just really is it, it’s, I don’t expect to accomplish some of the things that I want to, but I know I’ll become the type of person who can and I think that’s what we’re all playing for anyway. I think it’s not about the shiny object. That’s not what it’s about, it’s about becoming the type of person who can get that through their own example through their own character. I think Thomas, that’s one of the reasons why so many people find success and then realise that it’s not what they wanted or not what they expected or not fulfilling them at the, at the level they did at the level they wanted because they didn’t work on themselves enough to get it and it doesn’t feel earned because it’s not actually, it’s not real.

It’s not real. I did a post yesterday about fake followers. I said if you’re buying fake followers and fake likes, you’re most likely not a real person. You’re not focused on getting better. So I will beat you eventually. I don’t know when it’s going to be, It might be years and years down the line. But because I’m growing and you’re not, you’re skipping the growth. It’s not about the aspiration for you. It’s about the goal. The problem is you will lose the goal because you have not built up the competency through work. That’s all it is. Anybody could say. They have 900 episodes. Anybody can go buy a bunch of podcast downloads. Sure everybody can. But the thing is do you have the competency to actually stand up to what you say you have and many people don’t, especially if you’re taking the shortcuts, if you’re taking the shortcuts, you don’t. So yeah, to your point, the result is great. The shiny object is great. It’s the aspiration that creates the competency, the capability to get it and then you get things you never would have expected.

Also with opportunities. So yes, aspiration over results for sure. I just go off on everything you say Thomas. You know, it’s no quick answers here. Is there anything that you should have let go of a long time ago, but you are still holding onto 100% 100%. 1 of the, one of my favourite quotes is so many people focus and track how much they’ve learned. Right? I learn quote unquote learn for 45 minutes minimum every day through books and YouTube videos, whatever it is, How much am I unlearning every day. How much am I going within and saying This hasn’t been working since I was 20 years old, why don’t I do something different? So the thing that I wish I let go was needing approval. I’ve had a lot of self-worth issues for my life. And again, there’s, there’s some strengths that come with that. But to this day, I still, if I get a negative message from a client, even if it’s not that negative.

So I’ll give you an example. I got an email yesterday from a potential client and her and I are in talks about running her podcast and something got crossed in translation In communication where she has to podcasts and I said to her, it’s gonna be very hard for you to win on two different podcasts because you’re only going to do 50% effort on both. You’re never going to get to the level you might if you did want. And that’s my, my belief and she thought I was saying we wouldn’t take her on as a client if she had to podcasts. I read the email and she, it was very sad about that and it genuinely hurt me because I was like, oh my God, she doesn’t like me. Oh my goodness, she doesn’t like me and I got triggered and I went to the place of, oh man, I suck And I’m this and I’m this and I’m missing this was yesterday. So I’m trying to be as vulnerable as possible and I got in internal, I got in my fields and I went to that low self-worth place and that’s something that definitely has to go because not everybody is going to like you. It still hurts me when we get a bad review. It still hurts me for sure.

Absolutely, because that’s one person who doesn’t like me and that hurts. So tying my self-worth and my good enough nous to what other people tell me or other people’s feelings or other people’s insecurities, that’s something I have to get rid of for sure. And I think everybody does. Um, I don’t know whether to elaborate on that or not because my question, I suppose is around whether or not it’s beneficial to have a certain element of that, because if you don’t have any of that. I think that the phrases like, if you have no concerns about other people’s opinions you like, in the category of a psychopath, but I suppose there’s, would you say it’s important to have a bit more balance? I think it’s just the layer of understanding that almost nobody is right. One of my clients told me that one time he said, you have to understand Kev when it comes to the press, you’re never as good as they say you are and you’re never as bad as they say you are, you’re always somewhere in the middle and I think that’s kind of, the lesson is am I a bad blank because this person doesn’t like the way I did something probably not.

So yeah, I do. I agree with you. And especially if you’re in business, in business in the beginning, you have to like really jump through hoops because nobody knows who you are and you don’t have any proof yet. So especially if you’re an entrepreneur out there, it’s weird Thomas, I got out of the shower and I was thinking, I’m talking to Thomas today, I literally was thinking of this and I was thinking of questions you might ask, this is my process, I don’t know. And I said that I would say this on the podcast, I don’t know if it’ll land, I don’t know where it will go, but when we’re talking about self-worth, when you’re starting something, it’s very important that you understand your self-worth and your value are not the same. When I had one episode worth of practice of a podcast, I could have been a very high self-worth confident, I’m a capable human intrinsically, I’m amazing, but I can’t help you. I’m not as valuable when it comes to podcast coaching. So if I go into every understanding that myself worth, my self-esteem determines my value, contextually, you’re gonna end up in a lot of trouble.

Both ends that goes with both ends. So I’ve seen people who they say I know my worth. I will not work for any less than this and they don’t have any clients. It’s because you have those two lines crossed just because you drop your price to get a client does not mean you’re lowering your self-worth. It means your understanding your true value in the marketplace. I don’t know if that helps anybody if that makes any sense. But I said I felt after I got out of the shower. So I wanted to add that. Well, I’m glad you did. It’s a point worth reflecting on. I’m interested in this one because it would be subjective to you if you’re in a voice was an actual person and talk to you the way it usually does. Would you enjoy the conversation and keep in touch with them? Mm hmm. No, I I would have eliminated them out of my life a long time ago. There’s my inner voices. One telling me, I’m not good enough. Always, Always. I told Alan this recently, I said, you have to understand, I know this journey has been hard for you in different ways, but I don’t know that you’ll ever and it’s both right.

It goes both ways. I don’t know that you’ll ever know how difficult this was for me. I don’t know how I don’t know how you could possibly understand My first speech I ever gave was in front of 50 people. The second speech I gave was in It was we had to get on a plane and fly for three hours and Evan Carmichael spoke onstage. Evan Carmichael, the YouTube guy spoke on stage with us. I spoke on the same stage as Evan Carmichael for my second speech in front of 100 and 50 people, whatever it was. I wasn’t ready for that, I wasn’t ready for that. And the story my, I told myself internally was you are going to bomb this, you’re gonna do terribly. So I’m always fighting against myself more than anything else Thomas. I’ve had so many amazing people believe in me. I really have. It’s always been me who didn’t believe in me. I’m my biggest critic. I’m my biggest resistance for sure. And that’s starting to shift through the reps and through the experience. But it would, I would have a fistfight with my inner self.

Most likely I wouldn’t. It would not be a peaceful conversation for sure. Funny I did. As a side note, I did watch one of your episodes with Evan and I thought it was really good. You prepped a lot for it and drove a long way. It was that yeah, that was oh my goodness, it’s really hard when you sit down with somebody and they say, okay, we have 43 minutes cameras on, okay, go. It’s just like, oh, okay, we’re doing this okay, but thank you. I appreciate the compliment very much. No worries. What type of legacy do you want to leave behind. That’s a great question. Great questions Thomas. So one of the things that really drives me is I just want to be a good human, I I want people to feel good around me. I want people to feel safe. I want people to feel hopeful. I want to leave every interaction a little bit better than it was when I started it. Yes, I want to have a high net worth and I want to have nice things and I wanna impact billions of people.

I want all those things. But the through line of it all is Kevin Palmieri was just a good person who had my best interests at heart and he was authentic. He was real, he was reliable, he was trustworthy. That’s the legacy. I want, I just want people to know I meant well and that’s why that’s why I do everything I do really, I was on a podcast yesterday, I stayed on for 30 minutes after and talked to this person about their show and it’s like I just love that I don’t ever, my fear is losing that one of my big fears is that I’m going to get to the place where I can’t do that anymore. And I’m setting up my life in a way that that doesn’t happen or it happens is limited as possible. I send videos to my followers. Like I want to be that I don’t have to, but I want to, I desire, I aspire to be somebody who is just world class and a professional and successful and consistent and capable?

But also in a weird way if you met me at a restaurant, you never know. That’s kind of what I’m playing for. I want to be the most extraordinary regular guy. I really do, I really do and I want to leave every interaction better than I found it and I don’t mean that the human, I’m not saying I’m going to improve every person like that’s not what I’m saying. I’m just saying I want it to be a positive energy when I leave that that guy, Oh he’s really like, he did something, he’s just good. He left a good tip. He gave me a piece of advice. He let me go in front of the grocery store that just every interaction I want to be as positive as humanly possible. Sounds great. And from the interactions I’ve had with you, I can say that that’s been the case for me. I appreciate that more than you know the flip side of that. Are there any mistakes you keep making over and over again? Oh man. Ah yeah, for sure. Even though we’re doing very well financially, anytime even something miniscule happens, I immediately retract to scarcity Every time it’s, we lose a client who’s paying us $500 a month in the grand scheme of things, it’s not the end of the world, but immediately I shell up and it’s like, well what does this mean?

Is everything crashing and burning. So I have to continue understanding the wounds that I have around money and being the CFO has been very, very helpful because I’m in charge of the money. Which is great. So yeah, for sure. Understanding and continuing to course correct past conditioning when it comes to money. That’s a big, big, big one for me. Yeah. I sort of know what you mean when you’re out there on your own with your own business. You kind of have to be sensitive to those types of scenarios. So I get what you mean slightly. I mean, these aren’t in any order whatsoever. But I happen to like this question, What is friendship? Mm hmm. That’s it. That is a tough one. That’s the toughest question you’ve asked so far. I think friendship is contextual and I believe that’s why it’s so hard for very, very ambitious people to remain friends with many people. For many people, I think friendship is quality time with somebody that you love for me.

Friendship is knowing somebody has your best interests at heart and they genuinely want what’s best for you regardless of what happens to them in the process. That is my definition of friendship. I love the people that I don’t see. It’s not that I don’t love them. I don’t consider them friends. I don’t think they consider me friends because I don’t check the quality time box. I’ll try to wish you a happy birthday, I forgot my birthday. So I don’t, I don’t want you to take it personally if I don’t remember yours. I don’t celebrate my birthday really like my fiancé makes me because she said you gotta, you gotta celebrate every once in a while. So I don’t, I don’t think I checked the box as a typical friend and that’s painful to say and it hurts sometimes, but I try to be the friend that I want because that’s what’s sustainable for me. So yeah, a real true best friend has your best interests at heart. They want what’s best for you regardless of what that means for the amount of time they see you or the amount of birthday wishes you send them or whatever it may be.

It’s about the depths of helping me and them achieve their purpose if my purpose is to change the world and that’s what I’m aiming for. A good friend to me is somebody who supports that. And honestly, those are the only people I have in my life. I’m very blessed. I’m very blessed and I’ve been very proactive in reallocating time with people who don’t align with that and that’s something that I’ve worked very hard on. But the people in my life, I said this is somebody the other day Thomas, One of my friends, she said, I really am grateful that I met you and I’m so grateful for all that you’ve done for me in your life or in in my life and I said, I’ll always be here in whatever capacity I can, I can’t guarantee it’s going to be seeing you every week. I don’t know what it’s going to be, but I will always do my absolute best to be there when you need me. And I think that’s part of it. Yeah, I think there’s a theme maybe that I’ve picked up on which is intent. So intent is important simply because people can interpret things in different ways, but as long as you have good intent, that’s what matters right.

I would agree with that intent to me is the precursor to proof that because if my intent was to come on here and add value, I had to reschedule recently, you and I were supposed to sit down and we had to reschedule because my schedule got mangled and something happened. I intended on coming on. I wanted to come on. It wasn’t because I was hiding, but my intent was to say Thomas, I made a total mistake. This is totally on me. I want you to know that I value your time as a human being and I’m not, this isn’t me overlooking you or this isn’t me not valuing you and I want to come on, please let me know how to make this better and that was my intent and I think that sometimes you can see the through line of feelings, even if the results and the actions don’t line up now, don’t get me wrong, a lot of people say, well, I didn’t mean to hurt you when I said that, it’s like, well you did. So how do we stop?

How do we stop and get the understanding that what you said hurt me even though you didn’t intend so, I think it does go both ways. But to your point, I’m trying to stay in the positive front with that. Yeah, for sure. Is it more important to be respected or liked if you had to choose one or the other? There’s so many layers. I think it depends on how you get respect. But if you’re a leader, it’s important to be mm hmm Thomas, I’m gonna go with the unpopular light. I’m gonna go with the unpopular light. Because I think when people aim to be respected, they think they have to be above everybody else and they have to look down. And I think a leader, a real leader, they lead from the front, but not above. They can help chart the course and they can do all that they’re there to lift up other people.

And I think that if you really want to impact people at a deep, deep level and this probably isn’t the popular answer. I think you have to be like, because people don’t work with people that they don’t like unless they’re afraid usually unless they’re in a scarce place and then again it’s not sustainable. It’s not sustainable if you look at and this is the other thing you can be respected for being liked because if you’re like maybe you’re liked because of how supportive you are, how appreciative, appreciative, how empathetic if you look at the companies that have the highest morality ratings it’s not because they’re the bosses and the CEOs are the hardest ones to work for. It’s because they’ve designed the company to be the best for the employees and I think those companies are well liked which then they’re respected because they’re liked. So I think it goes hand in hand so I don’t know if that’s the common popular way but that’s the way I’m going with.

It kind of kind of dodged that one by saying both. Which is you know I didn’t give any rules so you’re totally fine doing that. This is a sort of similar question which is having a big ego a negative trait or a positive trait. I would say having a big ego is a negative trait and in this context ego is both arrogance and insecurity. So I think when you have a big ego all an ego is a protector. It’s protecting you from the truth if you have an arrogant ego you’re not willing to look at the truth so there are people out there Alan and I know some people we grew up with who they think they know everything and they can’t ever be wrong. The problem with that and it’s a protector. They’re being protected from being wrong. The problem is if you’re not humble enough to find the answers, you’ll never have them. So that’s a negative. There’s also people that I know who are super, super insecure and they assume that they’re terrible at everything that they do.

That ego, which is a big ego, it stops them from trying things. I think a big ego is a weakness. It’s a bad thing because it stops you from getting actual feedback and when you don’t get actual feedback, you don’t have the necessity to grow and you don’t know where you stand. I would say, I mean we all know, maybe we all don’t know, but there’s movies about it, there’s tales about the bully who has a very big ego and the bully assumes he can beat up anybody. But if you throw him in a ring with somebody who’s a professional, that ego gets lowered and that person gets humbled. I think the opposite also has to happen to though. If you’re somebody who doesn’t believe in yourself and somebody throws you into an opportunity and you succeed, you get feedback that you’re better than you think you are. And I think ego stops people from seeking feedback, seeking advice, seeking support asking questions, I think ego while it protects people, I think it’s only protecting you from the truth.

And if you don’t get the truth, you don’t get necessity to change. How do you feel about that 1? Good? I didn’t skip it. I didn’t, I didn’t say, well, you know both by what age should you know what you want to do with your life? I don’t know that there is one, I don’t know that there is one because I think as long as you’re trying to you’re trying to seek it, if you think about it when you’re five years old, you’re bouncing all over the place from this thing to this thing to this thing to this thing. The goal is to have a pyramid where the older you get, the more homes you get to what you actually want out of life. I don’t believe that there is an age. I mean, there’s countless stories of actors and actresses who get their first big role when they were 80. That happens all the time. There’s also child actors and actresses who start when they’re five and that isn’t even there thing. So I think as long as you’re on the pursuit of clarity, it’s not even about finding it, it’s about finding more and more and more and this is the other thing too.

This is the other layer I never wanted, I never knew, I wanted to be a podcaster until I started podcasting, but I never could have been a podcast coach until I started podcasting and I never would have gone on other shows until I became a podcaster. So Everything came from that one thing that I tried, I realised I liked and then everything kind of multiplied off of that. I would just say try as much stuff as humanly possible for as long as you can and when something lands and you know it spiritually, then try to do more of that. But it’s just a level, it’s a level of alignment, a level of clarity. And I don’t think it matters. I don’t think the age matters. I think it’s the pressure that people put on themselves. That actually makes it harder. Great answer. Thank you sir. No, I won’t push for an actual yeah, but what’s the number? How do you know when to end a friendship? Oh man, it’s a good question. When ask yourself this question is this friendship the best from my past or the best for my future.

If this friendship is only happening from a point of nostalgia. Because we used to blank together, We used to go to high school, we used to go to the gym, we used to go to college together. We used to drink together. We used to whatever together is that serving you in your future. That that is my answer is this a friendship should end if it is not the best for your future. If this person doesn’t believe in your goals, if they don’t believe in your dreams, if they don’t have the same and again, this this part is all personal, but if they don’t have the same core beliefs, the core aspirations, the core values, if things are too far out of alignment, it’s time to end any relationship. Anyone, I don’t even if it’s family, if it’s too far out of alignment, you’re doing yourself a disservice by keeping it, even though you’re supposed to love them, you’re supposed to love them. I understand that from a cultural perspective, but that’s not the truth.

If somebody is not supporting you and they’re crapping on your dreams or they’re crapping on your relationship or they’re crapping on who you want to date or the way you want to show up or any of that stuff. If your family is not supportive of who you are as a human being, it’s probably not a great relationship to be in. And I have a very weird relationship with that. I just, my dad left when I was young and I was very good at just cutting people out of my life. So, you know, I understand it’s not that way for most people, but there are so many people out there who are afraid to be their authentic selves and the people that they’re afraid to be their authentic selves around or the people closest to them, that’s a problem, that’s just the problem and Alan Always says this is a good one notice if you okay if you’re out there right now and you post different stuff on Instagram then you do Facebook.

There’s a reason because your family doesn’t follow you on Instagram or your, your friends don’t follow you on Instagram. They follow you on Facebook though and that’s, that’s like another, that’s another layer. But if it’s outside of alignment of the person that you are and you want to be, it’s time to start reallocating time in these friendships for sure. Great answer. The next question is weirdly specific and I think I saw it and I was like, I wonder what Kevin would do after this one. We may have to go quick fire though because we’re running out of time. So what do you do if you see a parent berating a child? Oh man. it’s hard, right? It’s so hard. The ego part of me wants to say you stop it. But the real part of me, the authentic version of Kevin. Alan and I saw this. We were going to Florida, we were in the airport and there was this family, It was a man and a woman and three children and the man was drunk, It was like 9:00 AM and the man was drunk and the mother was juggling three children trying to feed them and the guy was swearing at the kid and one of the kids fell down and hit his head and he was like dragging the child and Alan and I get emotional talking about that. Alan and I we tapped into purpose, Alan and I grew up in families that there weren’t – it wasn’t necessarily a personal development environment and there was a lot of male ego in my life.

And I think me personally, I go back to purpose, what am I really gonna be able to do in that moment? That’s not going to lead to something Like did I want to fight the person? Of course, sure, but that’s not, this isn’t a movie, I can’t do that. I have too much to lose. This person is a family. Like I can’t do that. I tap back into purpose when I see when I see somebody homeless that hurts me, you know, whether I give money or not, it’s tapping into purpose, It’s when I see pain. When I see something like that that triggers me, I tap into purpose and I think about why does that hurt me that hurts me Because so many people in our community have been hurt by people with egos. I know so many of our listeners who have been abused mentally physically emotionally spiritually, sexually. That is why it’s because of that, it’s because of that ego, it’s because of that toxic ego, whatever it is. So as much as I’d like to say something the moment I probably won’t if that makes me a coward, I I understand, but I go back to purpose and I go back to why I do what I do and I make sure that I use that to relight the fire inside me, interesting, painful one, tough one for me Thomas.

How are you doing for time? I’m good, so happy to do the quick fire ones. Absolutely. Why is it so hard to say you’re wrong? Oh man, it’s so hard to say you’re wrong because oftentimes you’re the only person in your circle doing it. If you were in a bunch of, if you were in a relationship with a bunch of other people who admitted they were wrong, it’d be easier for you is the most important purpose in life. Happiness. And if not what is no fulfilment. Happiness is result driven, fulfilment is purpose driven. Why do we do things we do not like to do because we believe the outcome will be worth it and if we don’t believe the outcome will be worth it, We don’t do it. Do we control technology or is technology controlling us? That is a great question. I’ve learned so much about exponential organisations and computer learning ai recently. So like my answer will be different than it would have been a year ago. We control technology because we are the ones who created it. It’s it learns faster than we do, but I think at the end of the day we’re living in a different dimension, We control technology.

You could become immortal on the condition you would never be able to die. Would you choose immortality? Oof! No, because I’d lose everybody I love every time forever. What should be the goal of humanity to live to grow, learn, contribute and chase fulfilment? How would humanity change if life expectancy was 500? Oh my goodness. I think people would be way more willing to play the long game for sure. And I think a lot of marriages would change that, that part too and people wouldn’t take the jobs they take Because 500 years a long time. You could teach everyone in the world one concept. What would it be? The biggest difference between who you are and who you want to be is your habits going back to what we talked about earlier, You have to believe it will be worth it. Whatever your habits are, you have to believe it will be worth it.

And if you don’t, human beings have three beliefs must have three beliefs in order to do something, it will be worth it. It is possible and it is possible for me if you don’t believe in any of those, check in with why and how to fix it and you’ll be able to accomplish that goal. What do you think your future self will remember about you now, What it was like to feel valued at the level first time I’ve ever really felt valued from other humans like I do now. And I’ll remember the fact that we just recorded and 900th episode for sure. That’s that those always sit with me. So I’ll remember that. I’ll remember the value thing and I’ll remember where I’m living. It’ll be very nostalgic for me. It always is when I look back, always, how much control does a person have over their own life? I’d like to say 100%, but I don’t think you can because there are circumstances you have as much control as you’re willing to take. I know that’s a cop out to, but you have as much control as you’re willing to take.

There are people who have had way less opportunity than I who are way more successful than I will ever be. It’s because they took control of what they had and they kept going and you know, I’m blessed because I’m a I’m a white male in America, so I have privileges that a lot a lot of other people don’t and I understand that, but it doesn’t mean that you can’t take the opportunities that you have at whatever level that is and I understand they’re different. So yeah, it’s up to you. It’s really up to you as a human. Are you happy that I’m at the end of my list of questions I’m not Thomas. I love these, these are these are very, very awesome interviews. I appreciate the questions, I appreciate what you put into them and I’m always happy to come back. I’ll come back a million times. All right, well, I’ve really enjoyed it. I knew you’d be up to the task. for people, I feel like the, the introduction, I worked hard on the introduction and I feel like that did it, but if someone wants to know more, where do they go? Yeah, well, I always send people to the podcast. Next level University, seven episodes a week.

Any podcast platform, YouTube, you can find us anywhere. And I am at never quick kid on Instagram, Thomas. So eloquently spoke, well done for that. I feel like if it was the other way around, I feel like I’d be exhausted. So congratulations for making it through and thank you for your contribution.

Of course, I appreciate it, Thomas.